Wound Opens, Reveal This Broken Man

[quarta-feira, setembro 30, 2009]

46...

I dream about changing my life... a real change... maybe the biggest change so far...

fuck... I am thinking about another change now... soooo this makes it TWO BIG CHANGES..........

wish me luck.

por KaRL * 9/30/2009 11:58:00 da manhã
|

____________________

[terça-feira, setembro 29, 2009]

47... cupid de locke...

And in the land of star crossed lovers
And barren hearted wanderers
Forever lost in forsaken missives and satan's pull
We seek the unseekable and we speak the unspeakable
Our hopes dead gathering dust to dust

In faith, in compassion, and in love...

por KaRL * 9/29/2009 09:46:00 da manhã
|

____________________

[segunda-feira, setembro 28, 2009]

48... the hours...

So here I am again and again and again...

Another week begins.
I should try to be quieter, cooler, and relax.

Ups and downs... Money... fuck I must save some money now! I have to save for my vacations and maybe for some twists in my life...

God... oh if there is a God, I know he likes to rock. I just wish he didn't spend so much time being drunk! Really!

Kiss and kill me sweetly...

PS: for now, I just wanna enjoy what life has been giving me lately... and smile...

por KaRL * 9/28/2009 11:07:00 da manhã
|

____________________

[domingo, setembro 27, 2009]

49...

Something must change...

Something must happen...

I cannot give up... not now... not ever!

PS: PS!!!

por KaRL * 9/27/2009 06:55:00 da tarde
|

____________________

[sábado, setembro 26, 2009]

50... 50... 50... FIFTY

so... 50 is a very round number....

TWO MONTHS is not 50 but... fuck it. someone will make sense of this sentence, I am sure.

another saturday... another hangover... another great night!

my fingers and my arms are bleeding so maybe... I dont know. hmmm If I fought against someone, please forgive me but I just dont remember!

ohhhhh I fell!!!! Now I remember! :)

por KaRL * 9/26/2009 12:00:00 da tarde
|

____________________

[sexta-feira, setembro 25, 2009]

50+1 = 51 !!!

51...

Some days should have 48 hours... some days should have 12 hours...

Imperfections of life!

I wish you all a good weekend...

por KaRL * 9/25/2009 09:19:00 da manhã
|

____________________

[quinta-feira, setembro 24, 2009]

52..52..52..

Another week...

So some of you probably remember that one year ago I worked more than 70 hours in 4 days, which gives an average of 18 hours a day! One of those days, I had to work for 24 hours (nonstop). Fuck yeah!

This year, I've been doing the same work (something that must be done every year) but things went better because we started earlier. The stress was always here but I am so good with dealing with it that I almost look like an ice cube, a cold and senseless fucker.

So after a Monday studio jamming session with my band (www.myspace.com/theparanoidprophets), I had a nice football (futsal, actually, 5 vs 5) match yesterday. Smoking doesn't make it easier for me. Last week, I played a better game and I think it was because I didn't smoke for 4 or 5 days. Hmmm since then I've been smoking and I think this affected my game (at least we won and I scored 3 or 4 goals once again).
I really want to quit smoking or at least just smoke as a last resourt. But fuck, it feels so good to smoke while listening and dancing to my music (some Joy Division songs, Sigur Rós, Smashing Pumpkins, Radiohead, etc etc etc). But in 2008, I spent 4 months without smoking so I think I can do better now. Sports has helped me a lot because when I go to play futsal or to do my jogging, I never feel like smoking.

I miss jogging. Damn! Today or tomorrow I have to go again! And I want to do it at the weekend too. Oh yeah!

September is almost over... what a fucked up month (in a good and in a bad way).

But I still have so much to do before the month ends... Cheers, mates!

por KaRL * 9/24/2009 10:21:00 da manhã
|

____________________

[quarta-feira, setembro 23, 2009]

por KaRL * 9/23/2009 03:25:00 da tarde
|

____________________

[terça-feira, setembro 22, 2009]

54...

Newsflash!

The Paranoid Prophets are back... and better than ever!

ROCK ON, MOTHERFUCKERS!

por KaRL * 9/22/2009 11:32:00 da manhã
|

____________________

[segunda-feira, setembro 21, 2009]

55 now...

Tired... great weekend! Today I will go back to studio and I have lots of work this week.

I wish you all a nice week!

and... Where are you? :(

por KaRL * 9/21/2009 12:51:00 da tarde
|

____________________

[sábado, setembro 19, 2009]

400th post!!!

so... the correct number is 57!!! So I'm gonna put the video for the song "57" of Biffy Clyro!

And I will dedicate it to the nice people I met last night.

Well 400 posts! Who could imagine this... on my way to 500! Hehehe!
So many different people come to read me and I think this could say a lot about me...

Hugs and kisses for all!

por KaRL * 9/19/2009 03:13:00 da tarde
|

____________________

[sexta-feira, setembro 18, 2009]

54 - guilty pleasure...

this is an old song from my teen years. Ok... I haven't listened to it for a long long long time! But it stills touches my soul. Oh.... nostalgia.

If you'll be mine, I'll be yours,
If you'll be mine, I'll be yours.

I tick like a bomb,
A little bomb with feelings
In every single country,
Under every ceiling.
There's no feeling, there's no feeling at all
There's no feeling, there's no feeling at all

If you'll be mine, I'll be yours.
Sha la la la...

Im built like a house
A little house that's peeling
As it peels away then you'll see
There's no feeling, there's no feeling at all
There's no feeling, there's no feeling at all

If you'll be mine, I'll be yours...
Sha la la la...

I burn like a tree at the end of the garden.
We've put up a swing for the children.
There's no feeling there's no feeling at all.
With the world on TV she's she's given up believing
There's nothing left to see,
I was teasing.
I was teasing, I was teasing her on
I was teasing, I was teasing her on

If you'll be mine, I'll be yours.
Sha la la la...

por KaRL * 9/18/2009 07:50:00 da manhã
|

____________________

[quinta-feira, setembro 17, 2009]

55!

You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you

Help me I broke apart my insides, help me Ive got no soul to tell
Help me the only thing that works for me, help me get Away from myself

I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to god

You can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings
You can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything

Help me tear down my reason, help me it's your sex i can smell
Help me you make me perfect, help me become somebody else

I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to god

Through every forest, above the trees
Within my stomach, scraped off my knees
I drink the honey inside your hive
You are the reason I stay alive

por KaRL * 9/17/2009 03:52:00 da tarde
|

____________________

[quarta-feira, setembro 16, 2009]

really....

FUCK YOU !

por KaRL * 9/16/2009 10:51:00 da tarde
|

____________________

GAME OVER!

I should
kick you,
beat you,
fuck you,
and then shoot you in your fucking head.

por KaRL * 9/16/2009 10:36:00 da tarde
|

____________________

this song makes me feel stronger!!!

so listen to it.. and get brave enough to fight against the past and embrace the future! life is short!!!

You're free to choose what we want you,
feel free to do what we want to

When we collide, the air will rise,
it's all that you will need it for before you go.
When the day wears you, create simple lies,
when the day wears you, be simple lies

Sleep well my dear, sleep well my dear, bodies in flight

You're free to choose what we want you,
feel free to do what we want to

Slip in to your dreams, the air will crash,
hovering in a perfect sphere, we'll watch you go

When the day wears you, create simple lies,
when the day wears you, great simple lies

Sleep well my dear, sleep well my dear,
bodies in flight, little or no movement

When you say love, I know that you mean hateful,
boulders of spite ridden love decay
A mansion in an easy disguise of simple lies,
boulders of spite ridden love decay...

por KaRL * 9/16/2009 09:10:00 da tarde
|

____________________

[segunda-feira, setembro 14, 2009]

never forget... KaRL!

This is an important post! I've got some stuff to share with all of you.
This is not a sad post. This is not a happy post. This is just a KaRL Post! Accept it or fuck off and leave me alone. I'm weird, I'm strange and maybe I am not a good person... but I am ME! And that's all I want to be!

hmm my babies will be 4 months on the 16th September (4 months of living with me). They are big. I guess they are teenagers now! Love you, kids!!!

I am truly sorry if I've created confusion with all these "video+lyrics" posts but for the last few weeks, music has been my true and honest friend. It helps me, it hugs me, it kisses me and it will always be my most important lover. Shoot me when I go deaf, really. Please!

So, I go on with my diet and my morning jogging (well, sometimes it's an afternoon jogging at weekends). Feel free to join. And I feel that pretty soon I will give up smoking. As most of you know, I am not a big smoker but I really enjoy a cigarette sometimes. But it must stop. Jogging has become an obsession and I want to be better at it. I need to breathe better since I have some breathing problems since I was a kid. Yes, smoking was NEVER a good idea for someone in my condition. But fuck it.

I've had a couple of weeks of hard-working... hmmm work! And loneliness was also an issue these last few days. But as I've said a few weeks ago... People like me choose to be alone so one must not complain. And I will not complain. I must look around and feel that some people like to be with me, that some of them will accept to be with me if I ask. But these last few days, I've decided to be alone. Working! Thinking! Crying... listening to my lover: music.

Maybe I've bored you all with the most recent posts but those songs are so much better explanations than my personal words. And those posts were my way to put out my pleasure and my pain into this little internet corner.

Why have I been writting in English, you ask! Yes, some of you have asked me that. There is not a special reason for this. After I got back from Budapest (where I talked 90% English and 10% drunken lonely Portuguese), I felt better to write all of this in English. I love my portuguese language but this was what I felt. Another advantage of this is that my Irish, Hungarian, American, Greek, etc e-buddies can also get some news about me: the crazy portuguese boy. I also get the chance to practice my English and this is always a positive point.

Talking about Budapest, all of you know that I fell in love with this city and I've been seriously thinking about going back to see it at Winter time. I bet it's so nostalgic and melancholic when it's grey, when the rain is falling.. oh and it must be adorable with snow... I have some free days in November. Maybe I will be back. Alone again, with no one to wait for me at airport. But music will be with me, my books, my words, the hungarian wines, the familiar places, the memories of Budapest, the memories of my beloved Lisbon and my beloved ones. But I've said "maybe"... maybe, maybe not. And you will understand the "maybe not" when you finish reading this post.

I just want to be me. My tattoo! Kiss it!
Right now I would like to tattoo "I shall be free of those voices inside me".
I haven't been myself these days and I apologize to all the people who had to be fucked with my apathy and my strange sadness. I am sorry.

Sometimes I feel that life has beaten me and I am just a loser waiting to vanish to my own world. But then I open my eyes and I see that I am just a 27 year old boy. I have got so much to do! My band! I wanna get back to it to write more songs! We have so many... but we're fucking lazy.We must record an album before we're 30, my friends! And guess what, my good friend who is the co-founder of the Paranoid Prophets has invited me to go back to studio and we feel we really must try harder in this subject. Wait, we don't dream of being rock stars but we both feel that music is a big part of our lives and we would like to honour it. I want to honour music by making more music. I want to fuck my lover and give her lots of babies.
Strange metaphor, I know! Giving life to a song, create and make it better.. would be enough for me. And I feel I must do this before I vanish in thin air.

Oh and I must finish my book.

A few weeks ago I wrote a long text about my entire life... it made me cry. My life could be a great book but I feel it would be a (too) sad book and it would be too painful to write it with more detail. That long text is hidden... maybe one day I will put some excerpts of it in here, in my sweet internet home. Once again, maybe not!

There are so many songs I will like to share with all of you right now because I've been listening to such wonders since I've started this post... I cannot decide but since I've already put you down with my strange sadness... I will share a funny song with you. One of those upbeat songs that makes us feel good.

hmmmm Ok, I lied. I'm just gonna put a song about... waking up crying. Put the song playing. And please do not read the rest of this post until you start listening to the song! Now...

Just imagine this:
you wake up with tears in your eyes. You feel the sky is grey just like your soul. You try to find the energy to get up. You realize it's saturday morning and you have no plans at all. You think about going back to bed again but you're too sad to stay there looking at the ceiling. You just sit there. You cannot stop thinking and you cannot smile. You feel lost. You will never be happy. You look out your window. The sun shows up but rain falls softly. You hear some birds, some children laughing. Your phone rings. It's a friend. You talk nicely to your friend. You hang up the phone a few minutes later. You are now confused. You look out the window again. A rainbow. Your radio is playing this song! You are feeling it. Feeling! That's what life is about: feelings and emotions. You are not dead, my friend. Your inner voice asks you go get up and enjoy the sun. You don't get up. You don't move. But now... You are smiling.

Hope! Never lose your hope. Sooner or later, you will smile again. Just like me.

Never forget... KaRL! And I beg you all... SMILE :)

por KaRL * 9/14/2009 08:41:00 da tarde
|

____________________

KaRL = LoSeR

Even though I'll never need her,
even though she's only giving me pain,
I'll be on my knees to feed her,
spend a day to make her smile again
Even though I'll never need her,
even though she's only giving me pain
As the world is soft around her,
leaving me with nothing to disdain.

Even though I'm not her minder,
even though she doesn't want me around,
I am on my feet to find her,
to make sure that she is safe and sound.
Even though I'm not her minder,
even though she doesn't want me around,
I am on my feet to find her,
to make sure that she is safe from harm.

The sun sets on the war,
the day breaks and everything is new...

por KaRL * 9/14/2009 08:36:00 da tarde
|

____________________

[domingo, setembro 13, 2009]

kiss, bite, taste, love...

Come into these arms again
And lay your body down
The rhythm of this trembling heart
Is beating like a drum.
It beats for you, it bleeds for you
It knows not how it sounds.
For it is the drum of drums
It is the song of songs.

Once I had the rarest rose that
ever deigned to bloom.
Cruel winter chilled the balm,
And stole my flower too soon
O' loneliness, O' hopelessness
To search the ends of time,
For there is in all the world
No greater love than mine.

Love....Still falls the rain.
Still falls the night.
Be mine forever...

Let me be the only one
To keep you from the cold.
Now the floor of heaven is laid,
Its stars of brightest glow.
They shine for you.
They shine for you.
They burn for all to see.
Come into these arms again
And set this spirit free.

por KaRL * 9/13/2009 10:07:00 da tarde
|

____________________

[sábado, setembro 12, 2009]

para sempre...

Today you were far away
and I didn't ask you why
What could I say
I was far away
You just walked away
and I just watched you
What could I say

How close am I to losing you

Tonight you just close your eyes
and I just watch you
slip away

How close am I to losing you

Hey, are you awake
Yeah I'm right here
Well can I ask you about today

How close am I to losing you
How close am I to losing ...

por KaRL * 9/12/2009 11:39:00 da manhã
|

____________________

[sexta-feira, setembro 11, 2009]

This song puts a morning smile...

on my face!!!

so... smile with me, everyone! Weekend is almost here!

por KaRL * 9/11/2009 11:53:00 da manhã
|

____________________

[quinta-feira, setembro 10, 2009]

Lonely... and incomplete...

Gone, long gone
Blink and I'll be gone, gone, gone
Leave this world of wrong, wrong, wrong
Leave it far behind

And although my secret's gone
I'll try to carry on

If I must, I'll get along Without you

Gone, long gone
Leave this world of wrong, wrong, wrong
Beyond the pale, beyond the dawn
Flee these mortal bonds

No one knows I can't be wrong
So I'll sing the same old song

I tried to be strong For you

Why have you left me Amongst the tall trees?

I know I gave her all I have

And I tied her heart in ribbons
Tied her heart in ribbons
Tied her heart in ribbons
And bows

And I'm gone
Oh yes, I'm gone

And I'm lost without you, I'm lost within you

And I'm gone
So gone
Long gone

por KaRL * 9/10/2009 09:42:00 da manhã
|

____________________

[segunda-feira, setembro 07, 2009]

goodbye...

This is the last song
This is the last song I'll sing for you
This is the last song
This is the last song I can give you

The roaring city sleeps
Metal fingers clutching dirty sheets
And no one comes for free
In this place where the angels sleep
This is the last song

My eyes are open wonder to this
As you hold the secrets
I count the minutes off so perfectly

The shards of broken glass
Sing the strains of a sad old tune
We've made it at last
But what we had is lost inside our past
This is the last song

Could you find away across me
To forgive and forget me
To appease and relent me
To deceive and detect me
To understand and release me
To the dawn

This is the last song..

por KaRL * 9/07/2009 09:26:00 da tarde
|

____________________

[domingo, setembro 06, 2009]

on a happy sunday... SMILE!

All I want is the best for our lives my dear,
and you know my wishes are sincere
Whats to say for the days I cannot bare

A Sunday smile, you wore it for a while
A Sunday mile, we paused and sang
A Sunday smile, you wore it for a while
A Sunday mile, we paused and sang
A Sunday smile, and we felt true

We burned to the ground, left a view to admire
With buildings inside, church of white
We burned to the ground, left a grave to admire
And as we reach for the sky, reach the church of white

A Sunday smile, you wore it for a while
A Sunday mile, we paused and sang
A Sunday smile, you wore it for a while
A Sunday mile, we paused and sang
A Sunday smile, and we felt true

por KaRL * 9/06/2009 02:54:00 da tarde
|

____________________

[sábado, setembro 05, 2009]

num espaço de tempo...

inferior a dois meses:

John Vanderslice, Peter Murphy, Muse, Isis, Emiliana Torrini,

Editors, Biffy Clyro, The Dodos...

MAS ESTÃO A GOZAR COMIGO? foda-se!

e agora tenho que... escolher! Não dá para tudo! Porra, pá!

por KaRL * 9/05/2009 11:16:00 da manhã
|

____________________

[sexta-feira, setembro 04, 2009]

why am I so tired?

YES, WEEKEND!!!

por KaRL * 9/04/2009 02:09:00 da tarde
|

____________________

[quarta-feira, setembro 02, 2009]

Lightning Karl

Ok. so I'm on this diet... but today, at lunch, I ate a "not-good-for-any-kind-of-diet" meal. And I hadn't gone running in the morning like I had planned. So I decided to punish myself for both things.

I went running when I got home.

I walked to the Praça do Comércio and started running. I thought to myself "I will run until the Bridge 25 de Abril". For those who know Lisbon, this is a long way for most bastards like me.

But I did it. I was happy and I smiled a lot when I got there. It is a nice feeling to be under that nice bridge. But... I did not stop. I kept running...~

So after passing by Cais Sodré, Docas, Ponte 25 de Abril... I kept on running until I felt the need to stop whenever/wherever that would be.

I got to CCB and thought "uff, I gotta get to the Padrão dos Descobrimentos".
When I got there, I thought "fuck... I gotta get to Torre de Belém". And I did it!

Wow, I got from Praça do Comércio to Torre de Belem running.. nonstop!!!nonstop!!! I had been running for one hour. But guess what, fuckers! I DID NOT STOP!

I turned my gorgeous ass around and went back. I saw the bridge again, my knees were hurting but I was not feeling tired. Once again, another thought "wow, it would be great to make it until the bridge again". I did it. Did NOT stop!

Docas again. Cais do Sodré again... finally Praça do Comércio. It would be a nice place to stop. so.. I stopped. Fuck! my knees, my legs feel like feathers, they are so light but hard to bend!

2 hours! I ran for 2 hours. Non-fucking-stop! Now, be honest, kind reader... what is your personal record? 10 minutes? 15 minutes? hmmm maybe 30 minutes. I RAN FOR TWO FUCKING HOURS and despite the pain I felt afterwards, I was NOT tired.

Maybe I should stop smoking once and for all. I will maintain my running plan. At the beginning, I want to run 3 times a week. Afterwards,I want to run 5 days a week. And maybe I will update this plan to 7 times a week. It depends.. so let's wait to see.

I guess eating healthy food (80% of the times) and feeling the need to change the freaking monster I have become.. were really good things for me, my health, my happiness and my life.

Fuck! A vampire that runs... a running vampire. I "LOL" to that with a sexy smile!

PS: Two hours! Yeah, I am proud...

... two fucking hours! nonstop! beat that, fuckers!

por KaRL * 9/02/2009 09:26:00 da tarde
|

____________________

[terça-feira, setembro 01, 2009]

QUE FILME DO CARALHO!!! :D

melhor filme do Tarantino?! se não for, está muito próximo do Pulp Fiction! muito mesmo! eh pá a sério. adoro filmes que me emocionem. e com isto não me refiro a chorar e ficar com os olhos repletos de lágrimas. falo antes em STRESS, Angústia e teNsão! O filme tem cenas memoráveis, muitas delas com largos minutos de duração. Dá vontade de fazer "uffffffff". Filme do caralho! não me ocorre outra expressão!

what a fucking terrific movie!!!!

por KaRL * 9/01/2009 09:11:00 da tarde
|

____________________

Lyrics | Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds lyrics - Into My Arms lyrics

por KaRL * 9/01/2009 09:49:00 da manhã
|

____________________