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JULHO 2009

Dia 24 (6ª feira)
Nine Inch Nails @ BUDAPESTE



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this Book has been here:

since 15th June 2006


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[ Lost Pages ]

bye bye summer
3 times in 11 days...
autumn...
another..
500 posts
some words...
2011
life is a rollercoaster...
4 years later...
plans for SATURDAY...


[ Library ]

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[terça-feira, outubro 27, 2009]

I will miss you... so fucking much...



I'm too cold to be alone this winter, I'm too old to be alone.
I just want to hold you this winter, I know you get so cold.
I just want to call you this winter. Where are you tonight?
Why aren't you here? You should be looking after me this winter, I sure as hell can't.

Behind everything I do stares the cold truth I don't have you.
I still love you, I must be the world's biggest fool.
Everyday I wish you weren't so braw coz I miss you.
How am I supposed to unmake the world's biggest mistake?

I don't want to be your open wound all winter; you don't need to see me cry.
I think I need professional help to get better, this may take some time.
My life is dead and I can't see a future, I never could and I still can't.
Do you still think I'd make a terrible father? I guess his blood still runs in me.

Behind everything I do stares the cold truth I don't have you.
I still love you, I must be the world's biggest fool.
Everyday I wish you weren't so braw coz I miss you.
How am I supposed to unmake the world's biggest mistake?


por KaRL * 10/27/2009 07:16:00 da tarde
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19...



For the last month (1 or 2, I'm not sure), I've been listening to this band. I've already talked about them lots of times here but they have been "one" of my best friends for the last days...

I really want to see them live at Santiago Alquimista on the 12th December 2009.


PS1: I think I am missing too many people... what the fuck is my problem anyway?


por KaRL * 10/27/2009 08:40:00 da manhã
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[segunda-feira, outubro 26, 2009]

why don't you just leave?


You want to drink my soul
'Till your heart is full
What happens when it's full and it splashes?
You've built all these rooftops
And painted them all in blue
If all this set just burns up will you paint the ashes?

Do you really want to see?
Because I'll let you in
With me

You shiver when the wind blows
Through doors that lost their keys
There's too little to rescue, too little to hang on to
I thought that maybe we could try to
Clear and rebuild this haunted home
I'll be glad to help you just tell me what to do

Why don't you tell me what to do?
Maybe you're scared too
I've been here before
Next thing you'll see
You'll fell
So small

I will disappoint you
And I don't care if I do
I belong to those who got shattered, battered,
Bruises and scars that I've hidden you could never heal
This grey house where I come from
Some great love will tear it down
If you no longer love me why should it matter?

Tell me why should it matter?
I can't ask you to stay
I can't find the words to say
Why don't you just leave?

Just leave...


por KaRL * 10/26/2009 11:37:00 da manhã
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20...


Happy Birthday...




por KaRL * 10/26/2009 09:15:00 da manhã
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[domingo, outubro 25, 2009]

21

21=3 weeks

3 months behind... 3 weeks ahead...


PS: another weekend...


por KaRL * 10/25/2009 06:00:00 da tarde
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[sábado, outubro 24, 2009]

22....

one of the best LYRICS I've seen lately.... and they really express what I'm feeling (hmmm maybe the last part doesn't)...


Don't know if I'll make it through this winter without you by my side
I waited for you so long while I traveled far and wide
Convinced myself there's no one better, so how can I deny
Your love, it's like a thorn into my side

My friends they understand me better but don't whisper goodnight
I want a lover and a sister, but we know that's not right
You used to listen to my music, I always wondered why
I wish I could pretend you make me try

I want the days to come, I want these sleepless nights to end
I lie here thinking how I lost you to all your stupid friends
You made me feel so foolish for the twenty-second time
Your love might be the last time that I try

Don't know if I'll make it through this winter without you on my own
I waited here for you forever, I can't believe you'd go
I may not have the answers, but I'd rather never know
Your love was such a heavy, heavy blow

Goodnight my love, you seemed so nice 'til I knew you better
Now I can tell you're always thinking twice about what might be better
On the outside, there's no conscience, you're a victim of your cautiousness
You don't try, you just lie there hoping that someone will come to make it right


por KaRL * 10/24/2009 12:29:00 da tarde
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[sexta-feira, outubro 23, 2009]

23 <3

My favourite number!!!

What to say on a day like this? Life can't always smile to me... But I really must find the strength inside me to fight this terrible week. Everything will be fine, I know this because I fucking deserve it:)

Karl = 23
23 = Karl

Have a nice weekend, everyone. I really love you all! And I must say that I fucking need you in my life!


por KaRL * 10/23/2009 10:31:00 da manhã
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[quinta-feira, outubro 22, 2009]

24...



I'm halfway between useless and potential
I'm all the way travelled from hope
There's no one leading me down this road
All the wrong turns have been my own
Did you know that I'm telepathetic? When I walk in the room, I know
All eyes turn towards me, everyone wants me to go

I'm only happy when I'm sad and my good times are all bad
And my best years have all left me along with you
When I'm up, I'm still down, and my smile is my frown
I'm a clown, I'm still falling away from you

My hallway is fraught with dangers, it's peopled by memories and ghosts
An apparition sits on my laundry, laughing and eating my toast
I don't lock the door at night anymore, I've no one to keep safe
Pancakes gone, kissing gone, along with the smile on my face

I'm only happy when I'm sad and my good times are all bad
And my best years have all left me along with you
When I'm up, I'm still down, and my smile is my frown
I'm a clown, I'm still falling away from you

I regret all my regrets
I forget I forget
I forget all my regrets
I regret all I forget
I'm just like a bad actor falling, falling in love with you

You know I'd do anything for you, what do you want me to do? I've burnt all my bridges and I'm stranded, I'm joking on my own
I'm wider than the Atlantic, the distance between us grows

I'm only happy when I'm sad and my good times are all bad
And my best years have all left me along with you
When I'm up, I'm still down, and my smile is my frown
I'm a clown, I'm still falling away from you...

MALCOLM MIDDLETON - KING OF BRING


por KaRL * 10/22/2009 09:09:00 da manhã
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[quarta-feira, outubro 21, 2009]

25...

I was not expecting it... but it came to me in the form of an SMS... I just could not believe in it... And part of me still doesn't! a big part of me!

Coincidences... too many of them. I just wish I was "feelings proof".

I am anxious for the weekend to arrive. Rain is falling but I am sure I will find something nice to do. For now, I have the "Draft Submission" thing to finish.

I wish my state of mind was not connected to their state of mind....


por KaRL * 10/21/2009 09:08:00 da manhã
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[terça-feira, outubro 20, 2009]

26...

Yesterday, I ate one of the best soups ever!!!

Well, I just wanted to thank you for the nice dinner. Nice food, nice drink, nice company and nice music... (ermmmmmmm cof cof)...

I am lucky to have friends like these... (I HOPE!!!)!

PS: Penso em ti...


por KaRL * 10/20/2009 09:20:00 da manhã
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[segunda-feira, outubro 19, 2009]

27...

one of my favourite numbers (next to 23, 13, 33)!

I think tonight I will try new things. If so, I will let you know about this tomorrow, ok?

For now, Karl is over and... out!


por KaRL * 10/19/2009 11:06:00 da manhã
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[domingo, outubro 18, 2009]

28...

It was nice to see my little brother again... and to play "SOLO" and... hmmmm let me explain.

(beginning of the game):
- ah ah ah you get eight cards!
- ermmm but these rules are different!
- this is not Uno. this is SOLO.
- but this is the same thing.
- pick the cards!!!
- ok... but I will win anyway!

OH WELL... you can all guess what happened ;)

SOLO! @ one of the most beautiful places in my country!


por KaRL * 10/18/2009 09:27:00 da tarde
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[sábado, outubro 17, 2009]

29...

Ok, so now it feels closer...

Anyway, like I've told my boss a few weeks ago, I was counting the "time" by working stuff.
Examples:

- "only two more reports and one draft submission"

And now... "Only one more report and one draft submission".

If everything goes well, after this next weeks ends, I will say "Uff... only one more report".


PS: Friday was great, Saturday started great and now is pretty calm... I will stay around on a Saturday Night... and I really don't mind! Too much party last week(s). uff. This resting procedures will feel great! :)


por KaRL * 10/17/2009 08:23:00 da tarde
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[sexta-feira, outubro 16, 2009]

10+10+10 = 30...

I know that time is flying, because I've started this countdown at 60 and now... I'm half way there!

But I'm sure the next half will feel much longer... days will go by slowly... argh!

So today it's Friday!!! I am counting the hours to leave work and go home.
If everything works out, it's gonna be another pleasant weekend. Perhaps it will be another party weekend but I don't mind if it turns out to be just a normal and peaceful one.

Some people call me a vampire, some call me Joker (because I have crazy hair - not green - and I can do Heath's Joker's voice), other call me little wolf, others call me Karlito, others call me Karoly, others call me Boo, others call me Carlos, others call me Pumpkin, others call me Sousa, others call me Filipe, others call me Karl... But... I am still right here.

Yesterday I cleaned my babies room, the kitchen's floor and the living room's floor. YAY TO ME!!! come on, Weekend!! Hurry the fuck up!!

PS:

And I don't believe in the existence of angels
But looking at you I wonder if that's true
But if I did I would summon them together
And ask them to watch over you
To each burn a candle for you
To make bright and clear your path
And to walk, like Christ, in grace and love
And guide you into my arms...


por KaRL * 10/16/2009 09:25:00 da manhã
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[quinta-feira, outubro 15, 2009]

31...

ONE MONTH!

So last night, Portugal won!

We only need to go through one more obstacle (a "play-off" game). If we win.. World Cup here we go!

I tried hungarian pancakes! They are much different from the ones I had tried before (the "american style" ones). I cannot decide. I love them both!

I've found that Biffy Clyro will be the opening-act for Muse's concert at the end of November. This is good because their concert at Santiago Alquimista will be just a few days later. This way, I can decide if I will go to this concert or not. Right now, I think I will but if they suck at Muse's night, I'll just stay home and save some money.

Hmmmmmm for now, this is all...


por KaRL * 10/15/2009 09:24:00 da manhã
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[quarta-feira, outubro 14, 2009]

31+1 = 32

So... this brazilian actress made fun of the portuguese (on a tv show).

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT?

JeBus!!! I have more important things to be mad about ;)

Relax, portuguese people. Just relax!


por KaRL * 10/14/2009 09:16:00 da manhã
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[terça-feira, outubro 13, 2009]

33

with this number... I could only do this:



por KaRL * 10/13/2009 09:30:00 da manhã
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[segunda-feira, outubro 12, 2009]

34...

Another week begins.

Other plans show up on the horizon.

I've been trying... I've been (REALLY) trying.

I smile... I do! Thank you for the nice words, really! I feel lucky to meet you all. But fuck you if you cannot appreciate how lucky you are for meeting me too!

Cheers!


por KaRL * 10/12/2009 09:46:00 da manhã
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[domingo, outubro 11, 2009]

35....

ohhhh Sunday afternoon...

what to do? what to do? :)

LAZY MODE: On!


por KaRL * 10/11/2009 03:24:00 da tarde
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[sábado, outubro 10, 2009]

36...

PORTUGAL FUCKED HUNGARY!

Hmmmmmmmmmm...















sorry :P


por KaRL * 10/10/2009 11:15:00 da tarde
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[sexta-feira, outubro 09, 2009]

27 + 10 = 37

here we go... another weekend.

I wish this weekend rocks!!!! hmm because this was a very hard-working week. I fucking deserve this!

days run fast... I want them to run even faster but then... I would love to freeze time... forever.


por KaRL * 10/09/2009 09:52:00 da manhã
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[quinta-feira, outubro 08, 2009]

38....

I slept 3 hours. maybe less.

Today I will work around 18 or 20 hours... Let's see.

I am not in good shape today but I will try my best!

PS: It won't hurt... if it does, send me that pain and I will feel it for you.


por KaRL * 10/08/2009 03:05:00 da tarde
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[quarta-feira, outubro 07, 2009]

39 - update...

I will try my best not to get off track again...
The train is on its way... and I am in it! This is my train so fuck you all who are trying to put rocks over the tracks in front of it.

39... 39... 39... 39... 39...


por KaRL * 10/07/2009 04:53:00 da tarde
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[terça-feira, outubro 06, 2009]

I'm not perfect... I'm just a fake...



Nothing left to say
And all I've left to do
Is run away
From you
And she led me on, down
With secrets I can't keep

Close your eyes and sleep
Don't wait up for me
Hush now don't you speak
To me

Wrapped my hurt in you
And took my shelter in that pain
The opiate of blame
Is your broken heart, your heart

So now I'm all by myself
As I've always felt
I'll betray my tears
To anyone
caught in our ruse of fools

One last kiss from me...yeah
One last kiss good night

Didn't want to lose you once again
Didn't want to be your friend
Fulfilled a promise made of tin
And crawled back to you

I'm all by myself
As I've always felt
I'll betray myself
To anyone, lost, anyone but you

So let the sadness come again
On that you can depend on me, yeah
Until the bitter, bitter end of the world, yeah
When god sleeps in bliss

And I'm all by myself
As I've always felt
And I'll betray myself
To anyone ...


por KaRL * 10/06/2009 05:08:00 da tarde
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update

40
39
38
37
36
35
34
33
32
31
30
29
28
27
26
25
24
23
22
21
20
19
18
17
16
15
14
13
12
11
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1





I really tried...


por KaRL * 10/06/2009 02:05:00 da tarde
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40!!!

this woman was elected the Sexiest Woman in the world.



I've been a fan for a long time... and I really didn't want to share her :(


por KaRL * 10/06/2009 09:33:00 da manhã
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[segunda-feira, outubro 05, 2009]

31+10 = 41...

This guy is coming to play in Lisbon, behind my place.
I wish I had enough money to go to all the concerts these next months... but I will have to choose and this one will most likely be out of the list.



... Stone by stone
I ended here all alone
And brick by brick
I woke myself from happiness...


por KaRL * 10/05/2009 09:56:00 da manhã
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[domingo, outubro 04, 2009]

42

arghhhh my head hurts...

and the excel file keeps on getting bigger... wow!

anyway... I think I should enjoy my holiday (tomorrow) resting...


por KaRL * 10/04/2009 10:36:00 da tarde
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[sábado, outubro 03, 2009]

43... to make you smile :D



por KaRL * 10/03/2009 01:37:00 da tarde
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[sexta-feira, outubro 02, 2009]

44...

33... 22... 11... 00...

Have a great (long) weekend, everyone!


You, I am sorry!
You, I am not sorry!


por KaRL * 10/02/2009 10:08:00 da manhã
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[quinta-feira, outubro 01, 2009]

15 x 3 = 45...

45...

Oh I need this weekend so fucking much. Perhaps it will be a lonely weekend but... I really need it!!! What a crazy week!


por KaRL * 10/01/2009 09:19:00 da manhã
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