Wound Opens, Reveal This Broken Man

[domingo, novembro 15, 2009]

6 hours...

I don't know what to feel...

Only one week before my trip, my world got upside down and I heard things I never thought I would hear.

After 15 weeks, I was taken by surprise. Maybe I was a fool, maybe too naive, maybe too stupid... but I am aware that I dreamt too high and raised my expectations. I did it for her, I did all this for her. A million sacrifices. All for her. But... I was the one that created this dream, the final decision to dream was always mine and I should not be ashamed to have dreamt the most beautiful dream of my life.

Fuck, It was just a dream that will never come true but... I HAD THIS DREAM! And the whole time I was dreaming it, I felt the luckiest guy in the whole world. For 15 weeks, she made me the happiest man alive! Why should I be ashamed? Why should I be angry? Why should I regret my mistakes on this subject?

I am not ashamed to dream and I will never be ashamed to have loved so fucking much! Yeah, sometimes I'm an impulsive scary guy but... if you really know me, you should know it better. I love with passion, with intensity, in good and bad moments! I am sorry if she didn't see that and used the complexity of my personality as a poor excuse.

I helped her a lot too, I was always here/there for her but I don't feel used. We shared a dream, we were a pair of foolish teenagers. I guess one of us had to wake up and grow up from our dream. She did it. I did not!

Some people think I'm a fool but there is someone that said something very nice to me. She said: "well, at least for 4 months you loved and you felt loved... I didn't".
So, why should I be the unlucky one? I am not!

I am lucky that I met her. I feel blessed to see her again and tell her face to face how much she meant to me. I forgive her. Sometimes it will look like that I am really angry and that I hate her but... she knows I always keep my promises. So, right here and right now, I promise that whatever happens I will always forgive her and keep her special place in my heart in case she wants to come back to visit it or maybe move in it forever.

She helped me living a dream and it was not a normal pretty dream. It was the most intense, passionate, loveable, romantic, wild, crazy, complicated, honest, sweet, beautiful dream... So I thank her because she made me dream this way! She gave me wings and she made me fly so fucking high that I became a star that will always be in the sky taking care of her.

Thank you.

por KaRL * 11/15/2009 07:27:00 da manhã
|

____________________

0 ComentÃ¡rios: